Tonight, as I sit here, eating my spagetti-o's with meat sauce... I think. I didnt really want this, the spagetti-o's or the situation I'm in. I just want to be home. Where people I love are and people who love me are. Where its comfortable, and where people care about the things that I do or dont do. Where I dont have to grow up. I guess thats what all these akward feelings that I've been having are all about. To my rememberance, at no time in my life have I ever uttered the words "I want to grow up." Thats just not how I operated. God blessed me with the appreciation of youth and appreciation of lacking responsibility. I dont know, but somewhere along the way, God decided that I needed to grow up. And I dont like that. I dont want to have to do my own laundry (yeah, thats right, my mommy loves me enough to do it for me when she has the chance!), or work a full time job, or fend for myself. And yes, I realize that there is alot more to growing up than those things, but I see those a symptoms to the disease of growing up.

Yeah, its all just a bunch of whining, but sometimes whining is needed. Yes, I want God to grow me into the man after His image, and on some level I want the free will to choose involved with being an adult. But I failed to realize that when I prayed for these things all my life is that they will happen on the Lords time table. People always say to wait upon the Lord, but sometimes we also need to be prepared to be supprised by His speed of action. He see's that I'm ready for what He has in store for me. I guess its time to get on to the solid foods that I always hear about, but those baby foods are so tastey sometimes...